Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/adodb/drivers/adodb-mysql.inc.php on line 360

Strict Standards: Declaration of pnRender::clear_cache() should be compatible with Smarty::clear_cache($tpl_file = NULL, $cache_id = NULL, $compile_id = NULL, $exp_time = NULL) in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnRender.class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of pnRender::is_cached() should be compatible with Smarty::is_cached($tpl_file, $cache_id = NULL, $compile_id = NULL) in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnRender.class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of pnRender::fetch() should be compatible with Smarty::fetch($resource_name, $cache_id = NULL, $compile_id = NULL, $display = false) in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnRender.class.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function ereg() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/legacy/counter.php on line 51

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Deprecated: Non-static method ADOConnection::UnixTimeStamp() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/adodb/adodb.inc.php on line 3007

Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

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Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/header.php on line 30

Strict Standards: Declaration of fs_ezSQL_mysql::query() should be compatible with fs_ezSQLcore::query() in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/firestats/lib/ezsql/mysql/ez_sql_mysql.php on line 0

Strict Standards: Declaration of fs_ezSQL_mysql::escape() should be compatible with fs_ezSQLcore::escape() in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/firestats/lib/ezsql/mysql/ez_sql_mysql.php on line 0

Deprecated: Function split() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 242

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Strict Standards: Only variables should be passed by reference in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 804

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594
 
Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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20 Oct, 2017 - 09:18

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699

Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270

Strict Standards: Only variables should be passed by reference in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 804

Strict Standards: Only variables should be passed by reference in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 804


Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 699
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Mascarell: "Montoro debe entender que no es malo destinar dinero a la Cultura"

Un plenario unipersonal

Manifiesto de los trabajadores del MACBA

El Macba despide a nueve trabajadores, el 10% de su plantilla

NUEVO PLAN DE MASCARELL


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  Texto Autor:

1366 lecturas 
General

JUAN GOYTISOLO 02/01/2009

Soñé que en una fulgurante operación de Interpol se procedía al arresto de los Papás Noel apostados a la entrada de los grandes almacenes del mundo entero en cuanto sospechosos de genocidio y de limpieza étnica, como el disfrazado serbobosnio Karadzic, actualmente enchironado en su cómoda prisión neerlandesa.

Soñé que Bush se alistaba como soldado raso para servir en Irak

Los cruceros de lujo incluían una escala en Gaza para jugar al golf


Que la comunidad internacional incluía en la lista de terroristas más buscados del planeta a los crupieres de casino y trileros de Wall Street por un desplome de efectos más pavorosos que el derrumbe espectacular de las Torres Gemelas.

Que al finalizar su mandato, el actual inquilino de la Casa Blanca anunciaba su alistamiento voluntario como soldado raso para servir a la Patria en Irak, compensando así su travesura juvenil de eludir el servicio militar en Vietnam.

Que un poderoso holding iraquí inundaba el mercado de millones de zapatos, zapatillas, babuchas y chanclos con miras a un gran concurso internacional de tiro al blanco.

Que Bush y Bin Laden se transmitían regularmente por vías misteriosas la transcripción de sus escuchas de la voz divina, como lo probaría la documentación retenida por la CIA y filtrada a la prensa por un enigmático Garganta Seca.

Que los yihadistas prestos a sacrificar sus vidas y las de los demás acudían en masa a las peluquerías para afeitarse y posar muy orondos en anuncios de L'Oréal.

Que los halcones del Pentágono se reciclaban en lo musical y salían a escena con una innovadora versión de la célebre Guantanamera.

Que en los masters de Ciencias Empresariales se impartían cursos de ingeniería financiera y de creación de estructuras piramidales a cargo de discípulos de Bernard Madoff y otros avispados magnates.

Que el Pocero era nombrado ministro de Economía y Hacienda y emprendía su primer viaje oficial a Roma para entrevistarse con Berlusconi y otros colegas de reputación limpia como una patena.

Que los beneficios de una recalificación en un 19.000% de terrenos pertenecientes a una digna y altruista inmobiliaria se destinaban a la ayuda e integración de los inmigrantes llegados en patera a las costas gaditanas.

Que resuelto a seguir la vía de Cristo y no la de Armani, Su Santidad Benedicto se desprendía de mitras, carrozas, palios y el resto de su parafernalia y salía a pasear por la plaza de San Pedro cubierto con un saco zurcido y calzado con unas humildes sandalias a riesgo de ser detenido por los alabarderos de su propia guardia.

Que Sus Majestades de aquí, allá y acullá recibían con motivo del Año Nuevo a una selecta de

-legación de esnifadores, mendigos y pordioseros de la puta calle de la capital y los condecoraban con corbatas de Prada o de Dolce & Gabbana en prenda de cariño y fraternidad.

Que el fruto del desmentido idilio del ex presidente Aznar y la ministra Rachida Dati sería la próxima reencarnación del Dalai Lama.

Que la madre Maravillas se dirigía en persona al pleno del Congreso de los Diputados para exigir que su placa ocupase el lugar que le correspondía en razón de su incansable labor al servicio de los presos y exiliados republicanos.

Que la asignatura de Educación para la Ciudadanía se impartía en islandés en la Comunidad Valenciana y en valenciano en Islandia.

Que etarras y batasunos se encasquetaban la boina roja de sus antepasados y entonaban a coro el Oriamendi en las excavaciones arqueológicas en donde aparecieron milagrosas inscripciones euskeras viejas de tres mil años.

Que la presidenta de la Comunidad de Madrid, Esperanza Aguirre, proponía la beatificación en vida del Campeón de la Fe, Kiko Argüelles, ante una entusiasta Curia Vaticana.

Que la Corte Suprema de California y de otros Estados norteamericanos y europeos rechazaban por razones de ética la legalización del matrimonio entre personas de diferente sexo.

Que se oficiaba en el Vaticano la primera gran misa gay con asistencia de todos los prelados que acababan de salir del armario.

Que los culpables de violencia machista corrían en cueros por la Gran Vía mientras grupos de feministas festivas les calentaban las nalgas con ramitas espinosas y mangos de ortigas.

Que las santas mujeres de Afganistán se despojaban de sus burkas y las endosaban a los talibanes y jefes tribales a fin de preservar su pudor viril y evitarse a sí mismas las tentaciones carnales.

Que por razones humanitarias y presiones de la comunidad internacional, se suspendía la tradicional lapidación de adúlteros ordenada por los Consejos de Ancianas y Sabias de la zona que se extiende de la península Arábiga a India y Pakistán.

Que gracias a la intervención de la Moreneta, los africanos alcanzaban de golpe el nivel de vida de Europa y Norteamérica.

Que los salvapatrias y dictadores del Universo entero dimitían de sus cargos vitalicios y se dedicaban a perpetrar versos.

Que Mugabe promovía su candidatura al Nobel de la Paz con el aval de Daniel Ortega, Teodoro Obiang y otros demócratas de acrisolada virtud y honestidad.

Que los dirigentes de la Autoridad Nacional Palestina y de Hamás dejaban vivir en paz a los desdichados israelíes sometidos a diario a humillantes controles, apriscados entre muros y alambradas, y machacados a bombazos de su aviación y artillería después de 42 años de una ocupación ilegal condenada por Naciones Unidas.

Que los cruceros de lujo por la cuenca mediterránea incluían una escala en Gaza para jugar al golf y la convertían, por el reciente esplendor de sus ruinas, en el punto de destino favorito de la gente guapa.

Que, que y que...

Dejo al lector la tarea de continuar por su cuenta el sueño de nunca acabar.


Viernes, 02 Enero, 2009   Enviar esta historia a un amigo  Versión imprimible  


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Sobre las relaciones del arte con los mecanismos de participación política, no sólo electoral


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Informe anual de Greenpeace que analiza el estado del litoral Entre el lamento general y la falta de acción política para protegerlo, el litoral se nos sigue escapando entre las manos. Descargar PDF
Nuevo informe 2007


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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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AVUI


Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

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Bienal de Valencia
»»Bienal de Valencia_Participa««

»»Bienal de Valencia_Noticias««

»»Bienal de Valencia_Info««


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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnLang.php on line 979

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Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/pnAPI.php on line 594

Deprecated: Function ereg_replace() is deprecated in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/modules/Xanthia/pnclasses/Xanthia.php on line 562

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/valencia/e-valencia.org/includes/classes/Smarty/Smarty_Compiler.class.php on line 270
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